Sad Day for Farfel

by Anne Bennett on February 2, 2011

The biggest food company in the world, Nestle of Switzerland, recently bought Kraft Foods’ American pizza business, which includes DiGiorno, Tombstone and California Pizza Kitchen.

It should come as no surprise to Americans that we’re the globe’s biggest consumers of frozen pizza, and Nestle is banking on our continued pack leadership. As an incentive, they’ve introduced what they’re hoping will be a sure-fire marketing marvel.

Pizza and wyngz, anyone? What exactly are wyngz, you ask? (And yes, spell-check doesn’t like that pseudo word any more than I do.) They’re described as “white meat chicken fritters.” Yum.

Truth be known, DiGiorno can’t call them “wings” because there’s no chicken wing meat in them, hence the “cute” name that has nothing to do with chicken or any poultry body part thereof. This is what’s called corporate maneuvering around government mandates.

For those frozen food aficionados who would rather have dessert and entree all wrapped up in one, there’s Pizza and Cookies, complete with Nestle (recognize the connection?) Toll House cookie dough.

Is anyone having difficulty understanding how this idea got past the brainstorming phase at Nestle’s corporate HQ? ¬†While the good sense part of me knows the answer to that, I’m afraid that this sort of “meal” will nonetheless be a hit. Couch potatoes can pull just one box from the freezer and have two junky, high fat, high calorie treats at once.

Remember Farfel, the 1950’s TV puppet dog who sang, “N-E-S -T-L-E-S, Nestles makes the very best…Chaaawwwwclate”?

If he were alive, (and that begs another question: do puppets ever really die?) I’d like to think that Farfel would bite the hand that fed him.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Courtney February 2, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Wow, this is a bummer. I stopped eating frozen pizzas while ago (not worth the points) but, I would at least grab a bagged salad to have as a side This seems plain irresponsible.

Linda February 3, 2011 at 4:29 am

When my DH was teaching high school students, he warned his students each year that, when the cafeteria entree ended in “ette,” (as in porkette), it usually meant “mystery meat.” Being a biology teacher, he had a few creative descriptions as to possible reasons for the “ette.” Ewwwww…. I’m not going to mention “wyngz” to him!

Mike February 8, 2011 at 10:47 pm

I just read that Nestle is moving the Kraft main office to Israel and will be changing the name of the company.

The new company will be doing business as “Cheeses of Nazareth”.

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